Sunday, June 22, 2008
There is hardly anything more dreadful than moving. The dust. The bursting cluttered boxes in the basement. And the always heightened potential for multiple spider bites. I've been immersed in this least favorite activity all morning, but there has been one silver lining. I lovingly transferred the entire contents of The Humor File from its crumbling cardboard container into a new bright orange airtight plastic box. What is the Humor File? It's about 35 pounds of frantic rambling, written during my tenure at KTLA-TV, many moons ago. There are many, many references to Spock and Kirk and musings about their sexual orientation. There is quite a bit about Bip the Space Boy. I also found a drawing of a pair of simian stuffed overalls, labeled "Monkey Pants", and a note to Lisa asking if she would like to help me conduct a survey during lunch over at Alpha Beta supermarket. Apparently, I wanted to know whether the shoppers were aware that there were entire pig heads wrapped in cellophane, for sale in the meat department.
The Humor File has grown fatter over the years (alas...who has not?), with various letters, essays and souvenirs added when I somehow deemed them indispensable. Therefore, I should not have been surprised to find, at the very bottom of this collection, a Spock Ear. A dusty, flesh colored plastic Spock ear. Is there anything sadder than a single plastic Spock ear? I mean, if there was a whole pair, you could wear them. But nobody would ever slap on a single ear, that would look silly.
The discovery of the ear started me thinking about the relationship people have with their television momentos and souvenirs. Star Trek alone has spawned an entire multi-million dollar industry for program related memorabilia. I had to hop on the Internet (great procrastination device for interrupting the dreaded packing) and search for Spock ears. I stumbled across this amazing fact; some folks are having their ears surgically altered to be pointy like a Vulcan's. I post here the photos, for your entertainment.
Back to the move. Some might have tossed that sad ear in the trash pile, but I did not. It was carefully returned to the Humor File, where it will be ready to be beamed up to Chatsworth in a couple of weeks.